Dear leader,

You need to stop accepting society's limitations.

I received a call from someone I support, let’s call her Sarah, a marketing executive with 6 weeks left until her baby was due. As her doula, I expected regular updates. This one was to tell me she'd pushed her last day of work out by one more week. Now it was one week before her expected birthing time.

Why? A critical project was launching that week. Her entire team would be out of town, and since she couldn't travel, she would work from home. They planned to conference her in daily across a 3-hour time zone difference.

"Since I can't be there in person, at least I can call in”, she said. "I don't want to miss out on this—what if they think I'm not committed?"

This is the trap we fall into as professional women. We start managing down our expectations and compromising our genuine preferences before we even know what we want our experience to look like.

In corporate strategy, this is known as ‘defensive planning’—making decisions based on worst-case scenarios rather than optimal outcomes. Yet somehow, when it comes to pregnancy and early motherhood, we abandon every strategic planning principle we've mastered in our careers.

We say things like: "Since I can't be there in person, at least I will be home if I go into early labor.", or "I want to see this project through to the end."

While these aren’t wrong decisions, they aren't strategic either.

When I was pregnant with my first daughter over twenty years ago, I had just recently the corporate ladder system in the pharmaceutical industry, where I built my entire career. I had just earned my first promotion while starting my master's degree. I was so focused on proving I could "handle it all" that I never stopped to ask what I actually wanted my birth and parenting experience to look like. When it was time to deliver, I accepted every option presented, without considering my preferences or understanding fully what it all meant. I had no vision for what success in my life could look like then, only what sacrifice was expected.

But if we set aside these limiting beliefs for a moment, we'll realize that our desires aren't selfish; they're data. Data that reveals how you can shape your authentic leadership style as a working mother, the kind of role model you want to be for your children, and what energizes you versus what drains you.

During my pharmaceutical career, we could not launch a new drug without a strategic plan, no matter the function. We worked backward from that vision to create implementation plans. The same applies when you start a project in any industry, and the same applies here. So why would we approach motherhood any differently?

When you approach parenthood with the same intentionality you bring to your leadership role—setting clear goals, building your support team, and creating systems that work—you maintain your confidence instead of feeling like you're winging it.

This is why my S.M.A.R.T. Journey to Parenting™ framework begins with setting your vision—because clarity creates confidence, and confidence creates better outcomes.

Setting your vision isn't just about birth planning; it's about defining how you want to feel throughout your entire transition. When you're clear on your true vision for both birth and career, you make decisions from a place of strength, not fear.

When Sarah and I started exploring what she wanted, she realized that she didn't need to prove her commitment by potentially being in labor during conference calls. What she wanted was to transition with intention and return as an even more effective leader.

Instead of just creating a birth plan focused on logistics, we worked on her vision. We explored how she wanted to feel before, during, and after birth, as well as her anticipation of returning to work. We addressed her concern about team perception by helping her communicate her strategic approach to the transition, rather than apologizing for her biological reality.

I didn't try to convince her when to take leave—it was about helping her remain present to HER vision so she could make decisions from clarity, not panic. This practice in presence allowed her to get clear on what she truly wanted and move from being less reactive to more intentional. This is what it looks like to reclaim your desires—before the world tells you what 'balance' should look like. As a result, she created a transition plan that demonstrated leadership while honoring her vision for both birth and career.

This type of approach is not only personal development but also directly impacts your professional effectiveness. When you're clear on what you want, you:

• Negotiate from strength, not apology. Instead of "Since I can't travel, I'll just call in." you say, "Here's my strategic transition plan that ensures project success."

• Set boundaries that serve everyone. Clear expectations prevent resentment and last-minute scrambling.

• Model sustainable leadership. Your team watches how you handle transition—show them it's possible to be ambitious AND intentional.

• Make strategic career moves. Decisions based on your vision are more aligned than decisions based on others' limitations.

So, take some time to create your own vision statement for your transition. Block 30 minutes on your calendar and ask yourself:

• How do I want to feel during my birth experience?

• What kind of support do I need to feel confident and prepared?

• What matters most to me about this transition?

• What kind of leader do I want to be—both at work and at home?

• How can I transition in a way that demonstrates my values?

Then ask yourself: What's one assumption I've been making about pregnancy/motherhood that I haven't actually tested?

It may be assuming you need to work until labor starts. It may be that you feel you have to choose between being committed and being prepared. Perhaps it's thinking your professional ambitions need to shrink.

Question it. Then design around what you actually want.

In my next entry, we'll explore how to redefine success for this new season and how to create metrics that matter, rather than trying to measure your new reality with old scorecards.

Because while society tells us motherhood means sacrifice, wisdom tells us it means expansion. Your desires aren't the problem to solve; they're the foundation to build on.

From my desk to yours,

Dr. Michelle El Khoury

P.S. If you're ready to apply strategic planning to your pregnancy-to-parenthood transition, I have a free resource that walks you through the complete process. Access my Prepared Pregnancy video series at https://programs.yogamazia.com/prepared-pregnancy.