Dear leader,

Stop apologizing for trying to fit one of the biggest transitions of your life into the margins of an already overwhelming life—mentally, emotionally, and logistically.

Maybe you're seven months pregnant, worried about how you'll show up in meetings while managing pregnancy fatigue. You're trying to hand off projects for maternity leave between calls, when you can barely stay awake through afternoon meetings. The very idea of "preparing for birth" feels overwhelming when you're already stretched thin just maintaining your current professional obligations. No one gives us a pass for managing this all silently.

This is exactly what happened with Elena. When she first reached out about doula support for her second birth, it was just over a month before her due date. As a mother already managing a toddler while her husband traveled extensively for work, she was stretched incredibly thin. Her anxiety centered on being alone when labor began but what I quickly realized was that her primary need wasn't more information or birth education. She needed space to breathe.

The problem wasn't that Elena lacked preparation; she'd already been through birth once. The problem was that she was trying to prepare for this major transition while managing all her existing responsibilities and without creating any capacity for the process. She was operating from a place of scarcity and anxiety rather than spaciousness and confidence. She needed to make space for the transition.

We've explored how to set your vision—reclaiming your desires, redefining success, and mapping your values to create the foundation for confident parenthood and leadership. Elena did this. She was clear on what she wanted. That’s why I focused on the second stage of The S.M.A.R.T. Journey to Parenting™ with her: how she could mindfully prepare for the next phase. This stage is about cultivating a calm, centered mindset through techniques that help you stay grounded.

We worked on mindfulness practices that helped Elena create moments of presence and grounding within the rhythms she already had. She created mental space and integrated short mindfulness practices in her day to connect with her own intuition and confidence. She created the emotional space needed to acknowledge and work through her anxieties about being alone during labor. She created a spiritual space to focus on trust-building practices that helped her connect with her body's wisdom and release any expectations or control over every aspect of the experience.

The transformation was remarkable. When Elena went into labor unexpectedly and rapidly, her husband was seven hours away and she was 45 minutes from her intended birthing center. She called to tell me her baby was crowning as she was walking out the door. During the 20 minutes it took me to reach her house while staying with her on the phone, her baby was born. I arrived at the same time as the paramedics and immediately worked to give her space to deliver her placenta naturally rather than rushing to the hospital. Despite the completely unplanned nature of her birth, she remained centered and present throughout.

Elena didn't need someone to manage her labor or execute a perfect birth plan. She needed someone to help her create the internal space to trust her own strength, whatever form her birth took. And that’s exactly what I did.

Sometimes the most profound preparation isn't adding more to your plate—it's creating the internal space to breathe through uncertainty with presence.

Looking back on my three birth experiences, I can see a clear pattern: when I respected my body and created boundaries, everything flowed. The minute I let those slip, life forced me back to making space, sometimes through crisis - even today.

My first birth was traumatic. I went in completely unprepared, gave away my voice, accepted interventions without understanding consequences. The recovery left me depressed and questioning whether I could stay true to myself in systems designed to override my autonomy. That experience taught me that being "busy" preparing and actually being prepared are two very different things.

Ten years later, when I was pregnant with my second daughter, I knew I needed to do things differently. I found yoga, made space for understanding my body, and learned to respond rather than react. When complications arose during that birth, I was able to navigate them from a place of grounded presence instead of panic. I had created the mental and emotional space to make informed decisions and handle the physical burdens required.

But life has a way of testing these lessons at deeper levels. Three months after she was born, we uprooted our lives to move halfway across the world for my husband's job—no family, no friends, no support system. I had to learn all over again how to create space without external structures holding me accountable.

By my third pregnancy, I started HypnoBirthing to make space for the experience I actually wanted. That birth ended up happening at home, unexpectedly, and was completely pain-free because I had learned to trust the space I'd created in my mind and body.

And just when you think you've "mastered" the lesson? A few years later, when that third daughter was about 3, I was back in the corporate grind, traveling constantly, losing the habits I'd worked so hard to cultivate. My body kept sending me signals to slow down, but I ignored them.

Then I was hospitalized and diagnosed with a heart condition I'll manage for the rest of my life. Crisis forced me back to making space. I eventually quit my 20-year career but even then, I found myself back in the grind as an entrepreneur. Earlier this year, I had another heart episode that reminded me again that making space isn't a one-time decision, it's an ongoing practice.

Each time I respect my boundaries and make space for what matters, everything flows beautifully. Each time I let those boundaries slip, life creates a crisis that forces me back to making space. The lesson deepens with every cycle. Space creates the capacity for mindful response.

It’s easy to abandon this principle and try to prepare from a place of scarcity during pregnancy and early parenthood. But creating space isn't about adding more tasks to your already overwhelming schedule, it's about strategically creating mental, emotional, and logistical capacity so you can prepare with intention rather than scrambling to catch up. And, it's actually a leadership decision that benefits everyone because it requires the same strategic planning skills you use at work.

Here's what mindfully preparing looks like in practice:

• Audit your current commitments and thoughtfully identify what can be paused, delegated, or simplified during this transition period. Ask for support in creating the space you need rather than trying to do everything yourself.

• Block time in your calendar for transition activities the same way you would for important meetings (e.g. if you plan on breastfeeding, add your pumping schedule to your work calendar while you’re pregnant so the time is already blocked). Model healthy boundary-setting for your children by showing them that preparation requires intentional space.

• Create physical space in your home and work environments that supports your changing needs.

• Establish emotional boundaries that protect your mental energy. Create systems and routines that can accommodate your changing energy levels and priorities.

• Use your project management skills to create realistic preparation timelines instead of last-minute scrambling

The women who thrive through this transition aren't the ones who do more, they're the ones who create more space to do what truly matters. So take 20 minutes this week to mindfully prepare.

Once you've created space, you then need to resist the urge to fill it with impossible standards. In my next entry, we'll explore how to release perfectionism as a form of self-protection.

And remember, your capacity to create space is your capacity to lead through change.

From my desk to yours,
Dr. Michelle El Khoury

P.S. Ready to create space for your biggest transition? Get my free Labor Visualization at https://programs.yogamazia.com/labor-visualization and practice a grounding technique that helps you stay present in the midst of change.